My Story
I can’t really remember a time when I wasn’t a mom. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter when I was 17 years old. She was born less than 2 months after my 18th birthday. All my friends were going to college or traveling the world while I was home caring for my baby girl. Although I loved her dearly and enjoyed spending my days with her, I couldn’t help but wonder what I was missing out on. Eventually, I accepted that my life was going to be different. Instead of living for myself I would be living for someone else, but I had to make sure I was capable to care for her and give her a life she deserved.
In 2004, I was a waitress at a sports bar. I worked hard and brought in money, but I needed more security for us. I started to really think about what I wanted to do with my life. While exploring a few options at my local community college I was intrigued by the Fire/EMS field. I decided I wanted to go to paramedic school. I began riding along and volunteering with the Fire Department and quickly realized this was the field for me. I felt like I was figuring out what I wanted for my life while raising my daughter. I met a guy and things moved fast. Faster than I wanted, but I felt like I found someone who could help me and provide the security that I so badly wanted for us. He helped me get a job as a 911 operator while I was going through school. Just before joining the fire academy in 2007, I found out I was pregnant with my son.
Baby number 2 was born in 2008. Things were good for a while, but I wasn’t happy. The life I was living was not what I wanted. I had a good job with great benefits, but it wasn’t where I wanted to be. I had a boyfriend, but not the head over heels in love relationship that I dreamt about. I had 2 kids that I loved very much, but it wasn’t what I expected at 23 years old. What did I want out of life? I didn’t even know who I was. I made the choice to figure it out on my own.
My husband, Josh, and I began dating in 2010. I was still working as a 911 operator, and he was a firefighter. We immediately hit it off and fell in love. The kids adored him and looked up to him. I finally felt like I was on the right path. I had an amazing boyfriend, 2 great kids, and a good job, but I still felt like something was missing. I was still living for everyone I loved and not living for myself.
Throughout the years, my husband and I started a few companies and explored different career paths. I received my AAS in Business Management. Eventually, I resigned from my 911 job to stay home with the kids, but as the kids got older, they didn’t need me as much. They had friends, school activities, sports, etc. That lost feeling from 14 years ago came back. My husband worked long hours and wasn’t home much. I missed my babies. I missed caring for them day in and day out. All I knew was being a mom. I was good at it and I enjoyed it. Josh didn’t have any children of his own and supported everything I wanted so we decided to have a baby.
Our son was born in 2017. I was obsessed with our happy little family. It was all I ever wanted. I felt complete, but God had bigger plans for us. Baby number 4 was born in 2019, another boy. Now, I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know how to be a mom to a teenager, a preteen, a toddler, and a newborn! It didn’t take long to figure it out. I had a great support system of friends and family that came to my rescue when I needed it and my older kids (my “bigs”) helped tremendously with their little brothers (my “littles”). Now, we are officially done with kids and as my littles get older, I know they will need my attention less and less. I never want to be that lost; lonely 18-year-old girl again, so I decided I needed to provide myself with self-care. It was time for me to focus more on me. I needed to not only live for my amazing family, but I needed to live for myself too.
Self-care is something a lot of us moms struggle with. Our attention is pulled in so many different directions in one day that we forget about ourselves. We don’t see ourselves as individuals anymore, but as a mother, a wife, an employee, a maid, a cook, a taxi driver, etc. We get so wrapped up in living for everyone we love that we forget the most important person, ourselves. Over the past 2 years I have worked hard on making myself happy and doing things that bring me joy. My entire life has changed. I feel healthier and happier than ever before, and I want to help others who may need it. That is why I am here. I want every mama to feel like an individual. One of my favorite quotes by the wise, Gautama Buddha is, “You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”.